THE INTERNATIONAL HOME SHOW…..AKA ROB'S BIG TRIP THROUGH THE COLON...

Yup. You read it right.
My last show was a real bell-ringer. I wanted to share with you my experience…..I also wanted to keep this post as POSITIVE and upbeat as possible. If you know this blog….you know I try to find the humour and good in things……so that is my endeavour for this!
Let's take the journey together…..through photos…here we go:

I got there at 11am to set up the day before the show opening. Below is a picture of what my booth looked like after waiting for almost 5 hours….Yes. This was 'sanctioned' as complete by the talented carpenters at the I.H.S. (International Home Show). I kid you not……this is my booth almost FINISHED:

Notice the INCREDIBLE attention to details.
The almost 'Dali-like' crooked walls!…..not to mention the fine paint coverage!
IMPRESSIVE! 

The Lindsay Lohan of booths.
Walls so wobbly and unstable…you're not sure how long they will stand!
THANKFULLY they put the "braces" to keep it from colapsing on itself! 

It was one crooked staircase away from being an MC Escher painting!
Am I right???

I love the paint job a lot.
It gives it that whole 'hillbilly chic' look
that one is looking for when trying to sell fine art!

Ok….so you get it? The walls were rickety (and possible unsafe) and the walls were poorly painted.
I DO NOT want to harp on it. Faaar be it from me to harp…...
So let's talk about the lighting that was 'provided' in the cost of the booth:

Yes. These lights are on.
Notice how they bring the artwork to LIFE!
DAZZLING!!!!

Thankfully they kept the fluorescent lights on.
Art - just like people - looks FABULOUS in fluorescent light!
SEXY!  

Here is the final element added to make the show more classy:

Purple carpet!
Purple - the colour of Royalty!!! 

The next day I bought clip on lights…..it helped- a bit…but still not the best...

The person that 'sold' the show to me explained that it was a HIGH END event, that would feature a whole aisle of galleries and artists. A 'destination spot' for designers and people who know art'. 

Here is that aisle:

art- prints - windows -sewing machines -and a live auction!!!

Not exactly a lot of art. With a couple exceptions.  

The talented Mark Gleberzon (artist and owner of MJG Gallery) was the first booth, and Carlo Allion's wonderfully whimsical paintings were in the booth across from me.

As you can see - the place was just BRIMMING  with people on Thursday!
A real destination!
Like Siberia.

Here it is BRIMMING on Friday!!!!

Here is a photo of the live auction booth beside me…..or as I like to call it 'scamming for cancer'.
You could buy a signed print by Morrisseau! (or someone in his family!???)
Bids started at $30!!!

LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE!!!!
Surely this "fundraiser" funds will CURE cancer!!!

….because as they kept telling the suckers people a percentage of the proceeds go to cancer!
Allegedly.
 (just sayin')

Here is some more of the art that you could buy in my prestigious fine art aisle:

Canadians love their wildlife!!

Framed prints!
It is like original art…..kinda…..
I think I found 'Waldo' in that print on the bottom.
Not sure though.

A GIANT sunset, the beach or some birch trees…..all framed and matted for $200!!!
WHAT A DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moose-tastic!

Tiger-riffiic!

The prices so looney you can't help but buy!!!!

Ok……that sounds like I am a huge art snob.
NOT (completely) THE CASE.
I am happy that people buy anything to put on their walls.
I wish it was MY work….but still….
I heard a LOT of criticism about my work during this weekend….so I KNOW my work is NOT for everyone either! I get it!!!! Art is subjective!!
Now let's check out all the other reasons that make this show 'Canada's largest Show'….

First…..the colourful characters……

It's the amazing Furnace Man!!!!!
He's HOT!
(get it? 'cause he has the body of a furnace.…..get it???)

OH MAH GAWD!!!!!! It's Janet!!!!!!!!!!!
(remember her from the Fall Home Show Blogpost?)
No. We didn't speak.
That b**ch didn't bother to call or nuthin….. 

Yup. You just KNOW that it's a top notch event when Mirror Elvis shows up!

Then there is this…..
…chocolate-head-man-box-thing.

If that were not enough to impress you…….here are some booths that REALLY impressed me: 

I call this one Prince's storage room……it is this attention to detail that sets THIS show apart!

PRETTY CARS!!!

"Sally…I know we've bought a Sham-wow and a Slap-chop…but do we have enough for this classic car?"

I came very close to shaking my fat away……until I SAW THE PRICE!
I can buy 4 sunset photos for that price!!

Stunning.
This rock, water and flower installation REALLY screams "I'M F**KING CLASSY  Y'ALL"

This "rock" and potted plant vignette IS EVEN ON WHEELS!
KAH-LASSS!

"Look….Sally, I know we bought our Sham-wow, a Slap-chop, and a '57 Chevy….
.…but do we still have money to rent this Bobcat?" 

Ok….now THIS display was the 'spare no expense' vignette.
It really makes me feel like I am in Epcot!
Wait……..is that what they are going for??

Yes. These are cockroaches.
Need I say more?

…and these are moths and spiders……
 THANKS ORKIN MAN! I will sleep like a log tonight!!
No recurring nightmares of giant bugs for Rob….No sir!

These 'Easy super twist mops' were a HUGE HIT at the show.
But the product that keeps me from losing my glasses???
GENIUS!
(yes….you may get one in your stocking this year friends!)

See……three mops for that guy….another 2 for that other guy…..
it's mop-polooza!

LOOK! Our friend with the subtle LED outdoor -
gay-pride-palm-tree was there too!!!

And speaking of smoking meat….

FINALLY…….the best for last…..there was this:

Yes…..finally my chance to feel the sensation of travelling through a giant colon.

Please.
NO FOOD IN THE COLON.
-irony-

Let it be known……the colon is dark…..a little loud….and smelled of plastic…
Now you know! You're welcome!

This is a haemorrhoid!
Insert joke here…...if you can.

So……that was it,  my experience at "Canada's Largest Fall Home Show"!

It's true……the whole show seemed (for me) like I was travelling through a giant colon……

But I feel like I came out the end…………..and learned a lot!

Would I recommend it? Probably not.

But not unlike colon cancer, it is preventable if we can just get comfortable talking about it!

Good times!

Hope you enjoyed this…..and have a great weekend!!!

MOVING & EXHIBITION NEWS -- INTERNATIONAL HOME SHOW AND HOLIDAY ART MARKET

Ok folks…….I am in the middle of the busiest few weeks ever.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, the Hangman Gallery has decided to close.
Which means that all the artists the rent from them are being forced to move.
After 7 years at the same location, I am really sad to be leaving my studio home.
Then again, sometimes the changes you are forced into are the best changes for you in the long run!
So, today is my last day at the studio….and tomorrow is my big move.
The good news??? YES! I found a space I like a LOT!
The bad news??  Unfortunately they will not have any suitable vacancies until the new year.
So what does that mean for me????
Well….I will pack everything up and move it home until space becomes available.
I had hoped to make an easy transition right into a brand new space…..but I don't want to make a rash decision! I want my next move to last for years to come!!
And I think that less than 30 days is JUST NOT ENOUGH TIME for anyone to find the right space!
So that is that!
You will still be able to see my works - by appointment when necessary.
And to make myself more accessible -I have added some more shows for the fall/winter.
First off…...

First - I will be doing "The Interior Decorating Show"!
This show is HUGE!!!!!!!

Come out to the International Centre at 6900 Airport Rd, Toronto and see my huge double booth #311

There is lots of HGTV celebrity experts to see - and THREE shows in one. The International Home Show - the Interior Decorating Show AND the Better Living Boomer Show.

It should be great!!!! Come out on and say hi….I am at booth # 311:

Thursday, November 7, 2013, 11am-9pm
Friday, November 8, 2013, 11am-9pm
Saturday, November 9, 2013, 10am-9pm
Sunday, November 10 2013, 10am-6pm

For more information on this show - and the schedule of speakers - click HERE

GET TICKETS ONLINE!

Okay…..if that wasn't enough….I am also doing this FANTASTIC Holiday show!!

The Holiday Art Market
Artscape Wychwood Barns
601 Christie St, Toronto

Sunday, December 8, 2013, 12pm-5pm
** FREE TO ALL!!!

---more details coming soon.

Ok….so that's all for now folks!

Stay tuned for more from me soon --AFTER the move is DONE!!!

Cheers!!!!

ROB DOES THE FALL HOME SHOW

Hey guys!
Well........you have been waiting patiently all week.......you are just DYING to know about my experience at the Toronto Fall Home Show this past weekend.....so I will tell you the stories....through photos.......brace yourself.......this is a LONG ONE!! :-)

Yes...before the people come it looks like a preparatory scene from DEXTER!

My booth! I had REAL LIFE paintings and prints for sale!
(just like in picture books - REAL ORIGINAL ARTWORK!!)
;-)

Here is a photo from someone walking by my booth.....to get to the super shammy display -- that's why it is blurry!!

All the Artists/Galleries were all by the stage!
Here was a "celebrity" grilled cheese cook off'.
I did have dreams of them throwing piping hot sammies to me!
 Then I realized that a triangle shaped welt on my face might discourage buyers! 

A screw off.
Insert joke here.

There was a LOT going on at this show! Here are some of the booths that caught my eye:

This booth is about subtlety.
Really, the big gay palm tree was really a sight to behold!
(you can't tell in the photo that is actually is chasing rainbow lights!!)

Ok....this seriously creeped me out-- in case you cant tell - the bright part of this woman was projected -
so she appeared to be talking and 'moving'!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 By the end of the 4 days, I had started calling her Janet...
and had made up elaborate scenarios of us going out for drinks.....and becoming her 'bestie'.
You know....just the two of us taking vacations together and such.
Honestly - it was COMIC GOLD while I was at the show!

A giant sculpture is the perfect addition to your powder room!
You're welcome!

I wanted to make a joke about having my mind in the gutter...
..just imagine I had a funny comment!

I believe these are "home" shoes.
I think they attach to your walls.......that is why they are at the home show!
Who doesn't want a wall of shoes??

I tweeted about this one.
 It was a VERY SLOW Thurs/Friday, so I BEGGED people to come out and feel my pillow!

This actually was neat! He will turn any photo into removable wallpaper!
This could be a real asset to my mural business! 

Professional BBQ cleaners! WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?!?!

NEAT! It was actually metal!

The T.M.I. booth.
You stand on the machine and it shakes away your fat.
It worked for the guy who is pictured in the middle of this display...
AND HE WAS THERE - AS THE AFTER --- trying to sell you the fat-shakes!!!!!   

The hot tubs were a little under-represented at this show.
ONE BOOTH?? I need at lease 5 to really make me feel like I am at a Home Show!

I wanted his autograph. I love his show!!
oh....no wait........I am thinking of Dr. WHO.
My bad.

The Etsy booth was STUNNING!!!
I wanted EVERYTHING IN IT!

MJG Gallery was there too!
 (and yes, he represents me in Leslievile)

I enjoyed this.....the ReStore 'ultimate upcycle challenge'.
Each designer/artist was to take a regular old door and 'up cycle' it into something fabulous:

a cool desk!

a stunning shelf!

The painted doors were good too.

All three of these used to be doors!!
SO NEAT!!

Meanwhile, back near my booth........

It seemed like the Home Show "shoppers" went CRAZY for ANYTHING that was free.
Bless their hearts!

My solution!
(yup - that's my card)

...and speaking of terrifying bedlam.......

Here was my booth again.  It was a primarily QUIET show......until......

Here is my booth when 'The Property Brothers' were at the stage.
It was nothing short of a waking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the artists had to take their work DOWN because the people were poking and elbowing and clawing
 for space to see the Property Bothers. (Yes - I meant to leave out the 'r'!)

Here was the view from my booth. It was a truly dreadful experience.

I honestly could have NEVER imagined that people would be so rude and inconsiderate!

Shocking.

Yes.....it was better once I took my art down - so that these people wouldn't bump - knock-- or handle the original art! But it still bothers me that it had to come to that!

I mean, they were all telling me how my work was "far too expensive" for them......and yet.....valueless when they needed to see AROUND it!

One lady pushed PAST ME......into my booth......put both hands on my work to use as leverage as she craned herself to see around my booth!!!!! 

I kid you not!

I may have yelled at her! OOPS!

I get it. They are hot guys.....but really??? LADIES??? REEEEALLLY???

My solution was to just LEAVE my booth and go get liquored up!!!

Here I am after the craziness had subsided- and the masses went back to looking for free samples!
(sad but true) 

It was a long one, huh?
Well, I assure you it was shorter for you reading along at home than it was for me. 4 LONG days! ;-)
Here's the thing......the show seemed to attract a certain type of buyer.
After almost 10 years and countless art shows, I was NOT prepared for many of the people I met at this show (or the ones whom I did NOT meet -- but talked about why they did NOT like my art!)
Don't get me wrong.......not ALL the people were this unsophisticated, and nasty!
I DID meet a few really lovely people.....and the folks that run the show are really super nice and wonderful!!!! So it was good in that respect.....and I am hoping that in the long run, the money and time I spent on this show will pay off!
BUT until it does.....I will be at my own home with a drink in my hand....trying to forget!
;-)
CHEERS!!!!!!!