Monday, May 9, 2011


Hello all!
I hope everyone enjoyed their Mother's Day weekend.
I celebrated with my mom in the casino. It was a lovely visit.
On a trip down memory lane, my mom and sister were telling me (again) what a pain in the @ss I was as a little boy. Shocking I know! My poor mother. Bless her for not selling me to passing Gypsies!!
So, when I got home, I went through my box of old school stuff.
I thought maybe I could look through some old report cards to dispel these allegations.
Alas, it was all worse that I remember!
So, to further embarrass myself, I thought I would share some highlights with y'all.
Here are sections from my report cards - that appear to be from the Mesozoic Era (I tried to photoshop them to make them more legible but I will translate where I need to.)
I have also scanned some photos and some drawing that I did as a young boy.
Terrific stuff!
Even at a young age, you can really notice my masterful use of colour and form.
OK.....I was not good at staying in the lines (or personal hygiene, evidently)! 
Insert gay joke here.

This is the last time I enjoyed physical activities.
"Rob is ver unsure of himself. He wastes time looking for rubbers and erasing work.
Rob needs to learn how to make better use of his time."
Rob still has the same issues....and really DOES need to make better use of his time!!

Yes, I still have this outfit.
What is Mrs Balston wearing??? Black hooker heels and a necklace of fruit??
What a story teller I am!!!
Funny....I still Like to eat very Much.

The kids used to call me bucky beaver.....I cannot for the life of me figure out why!

Here are the highlights:
"Robbie gets carried away in gym"
"Robbie sucks in math"
The best is the final, very p.c. comment: "Robbie tries to be cooperative but has difficulty controlling his disruptive behaviour. We are working on making him aware of this problem." (aka...Robbie is a shit-disturber that needs to sit his ass down and pay attention!)
I have always been crazy for beans. Yes. I am kidding.

"...has troubles paying attention", "....only satisfactory development in Art", "..does not make good use of his time"
It is really a mother's dream come true!! My poor mom. Did I mention she herself WAS a teacher. OUCH.

Bangs are so underrated!

"ART - Creativity - average, skill - satisfactory, work habits - emphasis needs to be placed on self-control"
See kids? There is hope for even the most helpless!!!!

My superior calligraphy and drawing skills were finally appreciated in grade 8.
Well there you go.
Isn't it terrible.
I don't think I can apologize enough to my long suffering mother for all I put her through!!
I hope y'all enjoyed laughing at my misspent youth!!!
Now I need to focus and get back to my work.........oh that a rubber.......................


  1. I actually laughed out loud and startled my children! Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!! Hope you're keeping your crayons clean!

  2. My pleasure! Glad you were amused!! My mother - not so much! ;-)
    Yes, crayon cleaning is high on my daily to do list!!

  3. ohmigod - this is priceless - when you're rich and famous they'll put it in the National Enquirer and then you'll have to deny it all and blame aliens

  4. Thank you.......I am already with my "evil twin brother" conspiracy theory just in case I make it big!!! But aliens are good too!!!

  5. CindyLouWho ColesJune 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Dear Rob; I peed myself, just a little, and I thank you for always lightening up my days. Truth be told, everyone has photos they'd rather bury. How delicious to know this !

  6. Thanks Cindy.....I am glad my personal embarrassment can amuse you!!