Monday, November 14, 2011

THE ROYAL TREATMENT

Hey!!
Well, I got a complaint last week that my post wasn't funny enough.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???
Damn it, I'm an artist not a clown!
Ok...I am a bit of both.
So I am gonna try to dazzle you today with a dazzling display of humorous happenings!
As you may know, I have been showing a piece in the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair art Competition for the past 3 years. Each year I try to do something that is distantly my flavour - but that really stands out in the sea of water-coloured cow, horse and chicken paintings.
(Not that there is anything wrong with a lovely pig painting or still life of Ontario produce -
it's just not my speed!!!)

So...here are my observations from The Royal this year......enjoy....hopefully it amuses you!
Here is my piece - read all about it on THIS BLOG POST

LOVE this piece by Cindy Scaife!!

look beyond the blurriness......in the foreground The Royal Art Competition......
The net booth over........"art" that can be bought 3 for $99.00
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS IS A BIT INSULTING???

Ok...normally I avoid the "The SuperDogs" show.....but I was with a group who were keen to see the show. Majority rules. SIGH.
Ok....am I crazy.....or is it a bit disturbing that people/dogs
enter from between a dogs legs?

For those of you who have somehow gotten through life without seeing it.....it is really.....well..... something.......

These next pictures are terrible....but you get the flavour of the show!

A dog jumps......
...a dog jumps higher....

...dog jumps highest.
THRILLING!!
OK.....so here's the thing.
I am not  a super fan of animals. I am not really a dog lover.
I am also not a fan of small children kicking me in the back and screaming in my ear for 30 minutes.
I know, I sound like Scrooge.....or the Grinch....but....that's how I roll.
The only thing that made the show worth seeing for me was the announcer  - each year he would have a crazy suit......BUT THIS YEAR HE WAS NOT THERE!!! I was very upset!
I decided to do my best Jessica Fletcher...........when I got home I googled him to find out when he was fired!!!!! I was expecting scandal.....

NO ONE wears lamé quite like this!
Alas.....not so much.
His name is Herb Williams and he was not only the announcer.....but the FOUNDER of "The SuperDogs" show!
And he retired. Here is why I was amused by him:


Herb had natural style.....

....had panache.....

...could appear in a puff of smoke.....

......knew how to wear sequins....
...and was generally SUUUUUUUUPER.....
(ok this one isn't Herb.........or IS IT?

Here are some more photos of big fruits:

Nothing like big melons!
Try carving THIS one!!
This looks more like a papasan chair to me.....EW!

Cool looking....

Mutant carrots....

Something purple....

GROSS LOOKING WARTY PUMPKIN!
YOU KNOW HOW I LOOOOOOOOVE BUTTER SCULPTURE....

Here, a butter artist at works.
Sculpted by an Ontario College of Art and Design student.
Yes, I believe there is a WHOLE COURSE dedicated
to butter sculpting at OCAD! 
After a long pause at the butter, I move on to this booth.
There is always a section of the fair dedicated to farming and the products that use farm produce:
One of these things is not like the others!!!!

This made me VERY uncomfortable.

The Farmers Feed Cities Booth......it is blurry.....
as I was in a hurry to get to this booth.....

Baked caramel apple. YUUUUUMERS!
Ok....so also at the show, we spent a bunch of time with the animals:

I know this is terrible, but the first thing I thought was
"oh man, that would be a stunning carpet!"
Lamb fashion!!!

The seldom photographed invisible goat.

The hairpiece rodent.
JUST KIDDING......it is a Guinea Pig...or "Cavy"

The "Santa beard" Cavy.

Another ridiculous animal!
I went to high school with a girl whose hair looked like this!
I WILL NOT NAME NAMES! 
Insert funny comment here! Like:
"my home sweet home"
I like how this donkey is like
"oy...what a day...."
I was really DISTURBED about this!
It looks like a sheep Klan meeting.
YIKES!
 There were lots of other things that disturbed me......

Really? The Pizza Pizza petting farm?
I tried ordering a pizza with chicken, goats cheese and Llama....

I don't like this at all.
Chocolate puck sounds kinda like bathroom humour.
SORRY!

Not sure this Robert Kincade painting isn't copywriter infringement!

In the men's bathroom - there is some kind of communication
between the flat face robot and the urinal!
So, that is the big trip.......at the end we stopped at the Antiques section of the fair before leaving:

I LOVE THIS!!!

I love these too!!!
What do you think? Looks like fun, huh?
As always, I love your comments!
Until Wednesday.......see ya!

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sad to hear Uranus makes you so uncomfortable. Have you tried Tuck's? There's probably a gel for that, too.
    OXOXOXOX !
    Also, Rob: pumpkins is not fruits. But I get that it was a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Robbo, You have made up for not being funny last week. I am in tears from laughing. I want to know who it was from high school with that hair (it better not have been me) and the sheep Klan made me HOWL. or was it bah with laughter? in any case, you are HILARIOUS.

    ReplyDelete