Recently I had an interaction with someone about my art. I left the conversation feeling like crap. Thankfully, when I am down, I have Musical Theatre to make my day better. I would like to share with you excerpts from the song “Die Vampire, Die”, from the Broadway show “Title of Show”. I think this songs lyrics can be inspirational to all sorts of creative types!
There are some people in the world who say that writing stories, or composing music or dancing sparkly dances is easy for them. Nothing interferes with their ability to create. While I celebrate their creative freedom, a little part of me just wants to punch those motherfuckers in the teeth. This song, is for you guys and for all the rest of us.
You have a story to tell, a novel you keep in a drawer.
You have a painting to paint, but you lazy like an old French whore.
You have a movie to make, Shrinky Dinks you can bake,
but you best grab a stake, ‘cause…
In sweep the vampires, in creep the vampires, knee deep in vampires,
Filling you with doubt. Insecurity, ‘bout what you art should be,
in sweep the vampires, die vampire, die!
You sketched that turtle you saw in an ad on late-night cable TV.
But your fourth grade teacher said ‘you can’t draw’.
Aww, those vampires just won’t let you be.
Fuck you Ms. Johnson, Word!
And when they come run like hell, see those bats in your belfry, then call on Van Helsing.
In swoosh the vampires, in a whoosh, in the vampires, ooh, all the vampires.
Filling you with thoughts of self-consciousness, feelings of worthlessness. They’ll make you second-guess. Die vampire!
A vampire is any person or thought or feeling that stands between you and your creative self-expression, but they can assume many seductive forms. Here are a few of them!
First up are you Pigmy Vampires. They’ll swarm around you head like gnats and say things like:
Your teeth need whitening. You went to state school? You sound weird!
Just tell them, Die vampire, die!
Brothers and sisters, next up is the Air Freshener Vampire, she might look like yo’ mama, or your old fat-ass, fat Aunt Fanny. She smells something unpleasant in what you’re creating. She’ll urge you to spray it with some pine fresh smell ’em ups. The air freshener vampire doesn’t want you to write about bad language, blood, or blow jobs! She wants you to clean it up and clean it out. Which will leave your work toothless, gutless, and crotchless but, you’ll be left with two tight paragraphs about kittens that your grandma would be so proud of! You look at that Air Freshener Vampire in her fat ass, fat old fuckin’ face and you say Morte Vampir Morte.
The last vampire is the mother of all vampires and that is the vampire of despair. It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like: Who do you think you’re kidding? You look like a fool. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough!
Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole, but if the vampire inside my head says it, It’s the voice of reason.
You have a story to tell, pull your novel out of that sock drawer!
You have a painting to paint, you best paint it and then paint some more!
Oh baby, you must escape and grab it by the nape of its neck, by the trachea, fuckin’ break it, go on drive a stake in, yeah there’s no mistaking, now you’re shake and bakin’.
Die, vampire. I said, “Die, vampire”. I said, “Now die vam-pi-re, die!”
In fly the vampires, oh my the vampires, then die the vampires,
filling you with life, creativity, all that you heart should be, out go the vampires. Die vampire, die vampire, die vampire, die!
Last night, after seeing a production of "Rock of Ages" I was seduced by the 'slutty' pink colour that seemed to be in all through the lighting plot. 
Picture it. 2003. Toronto East B.S. (Before Starbucks). It was the best it times, it was the worst of times. Actually, it was pretty much JUST the worst of times. For although I had a 33" waist and sun-kissed blond highlights in my thick wavy hair, life was not so great! I was living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment, in a little 3 story walk up called "Louise" (No, seriously! It was literally carved in stone on the outside of the building - although I always thought of her as less of a ‘Louise’ and more of a “Lester”). Louise, built in 1937, barely had any heating and was far away from the downtown club scene that I loved so much at the time! I was working full time for an evil mural conglomerate that was bent on world domination, and they were feeding slowly on my soul. On the weekends, I began experimenting with my own paintings (in between the drinking binges!) I remember at the time, I didn't have an easel so I stapled canvas up on the wall, yes, that’s right renters, directly onto the plaster walls in the spare bedroom! Louise didn't seem to mind. I am not sure if it was Louise’s influence, but at the time I was super hot for all things Deco. It was the simple lines of the architecture, and graphic quality of the artwork that lured me into researching more about the retro-style. Being a muralist, I was used to doing tonnes of research and spent many hours at the reference library, looking through books for great ideas. Yes kids, I said BOOKS. For those of y’all too young to understand, think of books as a sort of a tangible representation of the content you now find through Google on the world wide interwebs. Sufficed to say, these first paintings, were very literally based on Art Deco stained glass. At the time, I thought it was a stroke of brilliance. Now, in retrospect, meh! But, here is the great thing about painting. A painting career is not unlike, say, a trip out east on a train. It is more about the journey than the final destination. All that research lead me to my next series of work – The Fairytale Series, which actually was kinda good! (More about those in a later post.) I got these Deco pieces (and several others) done in time for my first exhibition. And although the blue one was bought on opening night, unfortunately it was bought by Husband. I am not sure why Husband liked it so much, but to this day it hangs in the guest room of our little house. Although it makes my eye twitch, and my nose wrinkle when I look at it, it serves as a constant reminder of how far I have come, and reminds me of those special, times at Louise. The End......
